One year ago, today, I married my best friend. Jeremy has been the most patient, loving, and caring husband I ever could have asked for. I feel truly blessed to have him by my side.
This year has been full of crazy surprises - me being on disability, him not having a job most of the year, him having gallbladder problems all of a sudden, me taking a leave of absence from school, my health worsening, etc... We tell each other that we're living out our "for sicker or poorer" part of the vows first - it makes us laugh in an otherwise unlaughable situation. But, our Lord is faithful, and so we continue on. Our relationship definitely looks different than I think many newlyweds' relationships look, but that's okay. We're working with what we have. It's hard sometimes, but our love for God and each other is growing stronger.
So, happy anniversary to the greatest blessing God could have ever bestowed upon me. I love you... you're my favorite! ;-)
So, I hadn't really been feeling very depressed for a while, but I feel myself starting to head that direction... and I know it's a slippery slope. The past week has been rough, spent mostly stuck on the couch - useless! I hate times like these, when there's nothing to do but sit there in pain and hope that the meds will help "this time." I started listening to some music on my computer, and one of my favorite songs came on: "Falling Inside the Black" by Skillet. While many Christians may argue that Christian rock groups (such as Skillet) are a disgrace, I think they are able to reach more people and people at different points in their lives. To me, this song is a cry out to God - a cry that says, "I feel far away from and separated from you, God. Can you hear me?" It is a desparate plea from someone that is just trying to hold on.
Just hold on... that's exactly what I feel like I'm trying to do each day right now. I supposed this can related back to my post on When Depression Hits. I'm trying to keep out of the pit of depression, but I feel like I'm just barely hanging on. God willing, this, too, shall pass.
Falling Inside the Black by Skillet
Tonight I'm so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don't leave me here so cold
(Never want to be so cold)
Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm
Chorus:
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside falling inside the black
You were my source of strength
I've traded everything
That I love for this one thing
(Stranded in the offering)
Don't leave me here like this
Can't hear me scream from the abyss
And now i wish for you my desire
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm
[Chorus]
Falling in the black...
Slipping through the cracks...
[Chorus]
Can you hear me?
Falling inside the black
Can you hear me?
Falling inside the black
Can you hear me?
Falling inside
Falling inside, falling inside the black
I had a wonderful sno cone with my husband, last week before the weather cooled down. Sno cones are one of my all-time favorite things. They remind me of some of the best times in life - times spanning all ages, special places, and dear friends. They make the summer heat of Texas (and Oklahoma) worth it - to me, at least.
Today, my husband and I went on a date. Our dates are now in the middle of the day (i.e., before my "mid-afternoon crash"). We went to see Dinner With Schmucks, which was hilarious. We stopped and got an Arby's chocolate turnover... another all-time favorite thing (they used to have them, they stopped, I wrote many letters begging for them to bring them back, and now they finally have!). If you've never had one of these tasty treats (and chocolate isn't one of your triggers), you definitely should!
My husband is such a blessing to me. I'm so happy to be married to my best friend. He takes good care of me, makes me laugh, and holds me when I need to cry. He's my favorite thing!
One of the most moving moments of my life happened December 30, 2008.
I began training for Stephen Ministry through a neighbor church in September 2008, only weeks before my October auto accident. This group helped me through some of the toughest times. They each will forever hold a dear place in my heart - for their unconditional love and care.
At the end of the December 30th meeting, all of the Stephen Ministers and Stephen Ministers in Training gathered around me, each placing a hand on me. One of the ladies began a prayer, and then many other people, one by one, prayed aloud for me. They spoke of my faithfulness, and prayed that this suffering be used to God's glory. They prayed that I find strength and peace in Christ (crawl up in Jesus' lap and ask Him to hold me). They prayed that God life the pain and discomfort. The most moving words that I heard throughout these prayers were that I was a blessing to them. This made me speechless! I feel that they were a blessing to me, and hearing that it went both ways was very humbling.
